Threatening me on Ebay is NOT cool

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Re: Threatening me on Ebay is NOT cool

Post by georgeanne »

This person vicjac_4750 apparently lives in Massachusetts and from what they buy it looks like they reborn. It disgusts me to think they are a member of DF, but from some comments in the silicone for sale section it is pretty obvious we have some mean people that are members. Getting their panties in a wad because they always ASSUME to much and run with it.
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Re: Threatening me on Ebay is NOT cool

Post by MikeTheEngineer »

MikeTheEngineer wrote: It is probably "Angelica", as she was bad mouthing me elsewhere. I think it all started when people were trashing me for trying to sell it, flaws and all. Someone bid on it... and they just kept on saying I should even be trying to sell it, I should just throw it away. So I made the joke, maybe they think I'll be famous one day, and want my first one! I was trying to take their belittling in stride... And now everyone's all offended. (When I say "everyone" I mean the extremely vocal extreme minority) ~_~ And Right after that is when I started getting threats on Ebay, and "Angelica" started bad mouthing me here... even mentioning "reporting me on ebay"
Angelica claims it's not her, as far as ebay goes. She's only trash talking here on DF. And she was the very first to mention reporting on ebay... and the person the messaged me on ebay said she *KNEW* others from DF had her same dirty mind... before Angelica's slam posting. Makes me wonder if they know each other.
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Re: Threatening me on Ebay is NOT cool

Post by tiffanybw »

Wow.

I haven't yet read anything but this post. But I'm really sorry. :hug: Threatening you like that is NOT ok, to whomever the vicjac person is, know that. That said, everyone makes mistakes, and whomever this is should come forward, own what they did, and apologize both to you and to the forum (in assuming they speak for all of DF).

But especially to apologize to you, because what they said IMO did come across as personally threatening.

Don't let this person/people get you down. I think that your first attempt was great! Is it the doll of my dreams... no. But have to start somewhere and it's your very first try. I think something to be proud of; way better than I could ever do. It takes hard work and perseverance to become good at *anything* one does. A person isn't just going to go and do something, and be perfect at it immediately. Keep on doing what you are, for as long as YOU want to. I'll be praying for you, and for your endeavors, as it makes me happy to see other's happy, to see other's succeed. I don't understand all that you have written about because quite simply, is over my head. What I do understand though, I think are great ideas and concepts. And so the only thing to do is to DO IT and see if it works. No matter what happens, you'd only be a failure in my eyes if you didn't try.

The message you received, just NOT right at all. Extremely hurtful and even worse than that... threatening. :cry: That person does not speak for me. Advice and constructive feedback is one thing and can be helpful. The way this person is talking though, as if they are the "Al Capone of the dolly mafia". Crazy!
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Re: Threatening me on Ebay is NOT cool

Post by Court_LLRN »

From what I've seen in the research of this person - they said they are a new artist. So possibly a youngin?
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Re: Threatening me on Ebay is NOT cool

Post by LynnW »

I'm really sorry to hear that this happened to you. I think that we should all support each other and there is no need for hurtful comments. If a certain doll doesn't appeal to someone, they should just keep quiet. And you have every right to sell your doll, even if it's not perfect. You're not misrepresenting anything and I can see this doll being a great option for someone who wants to learn silicone painting and wants to practice. I'm glad you were able to get a bid and hopefully you don't let this get you down!
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Re: Threatening me on Ebay is NOT cool

Post by LanaDollfana »

Ditto to all above. The majority of members are supportive and encouraging to all new artists. As this person has not bought your work, I don't see how she could get you banned from ebay. Sounds like she is just hopes to discourage you and make you question your talent and ideas. The best revenge is to continue learning and improving to become a success.
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Re: Threatening me on Ebay is NOT cool

Post by Carolr »

Mike I am sorry that someone here has been so malicious. Unfortunately lately DF has changed, not what it use to be and I come here less and less. I admire your desire to produce you own doll....I wouldn't even know where to begin. I think your first doll was good, some flaws but you will notice most silicones will always have flaws. Don't give up, you can only get better from here.
:idea: Hugs, Carol
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Re: Threatening me on Ebay is NOT cool

Post by MikeTheEngineer »

Thank you guys. There has been a great outpouring of support, and I keep hearing the same thing over and over: DF has a handful of vicious people that keep ruining for everyone! Why do you guys not band together, change the rules (or enforce them) to disallow disparaging, vicious comments about others and/or their dolls... and start banning them? This would make DF a better place. I had more than a few on DF suggest I should just throw it away. That just floored me... I thought you guys kept this place private to PREVENT stuff like that. Guess not.
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Re: Threatening me on Ebay is NOT cool

Post by Mikki »

Mike I'm sorry you're dealing with all these snide remarks after just joining Dollfan.I deal with nasty people on Ebay that want something for nothing,..get used to it i guess. I've been here for years and have seen a few mean spirited people but in general it's been a great place to be. Are these people making and producing their own silicone dolls..I'm sure these practiced pourers or artist had a few dolls that didn't turn out at first. You're proud of what you've accomplished and should be. The fact that you chose to sell it on Ebay should not let a bunch totally trash you. If someone want to buy it on Ebay maybe they've been waitng for a real silicone they could afford. I don't enjoy the Gothic or demonic deformed babies that are on Ebay buy I'd never tell that person to throw it out or how nasty it is. Eventually these members will fade away..they usually do. Hang in there Mike.

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Re: Threatening me on Ebay is NOT cool

Post by Pebby »

I don't think the nasty and rude commenters will ever go away on doll fan. I personally have been on doll fan for quite a few years, hardly ever get any responses to anything I post, I have helped people over the years, given compliments , given giveaways and still half the time I am ignored so i think the behavior on doll fan for some will never change, JMO.
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Re: Threatening me on Ebay is NOT cool

Post by Suzanne »

MikeTheEngineer wrote:
Suzanne wrote:There are just a lot of haters in the doll world sad to say. I was going to comment earlier on your post earlier that you seem to have thick skin maybe since you are a guy?? However I think there are are some folks that don't like newcomers thinking they can change the landscape. Honestly I dont think your first doll is great but you are selling her for your costs and I like that you think outside the box and accept criticism well. So I am in your corner. Forgot the haters for they are the jealous ones
I started college at 13, under the force of my will power alone. I do *not* allow myself to be bullied. I do *not* kowtow to those making absurd demands because they are "offended" by something they saw on the internet. I will *NOT* be dominated by some thug. I do *not* cave to the threats from evil.

Demanding I do something under threat of harm = evil and thuggish
Spreading lies about someone's work = Evil (She said she's going to speak ill of my work... even though she's never bought, held, or even saw one in person... therefore, the only thing should could possibly negative about would, by definition, be a lie)

I'm not trying to make a quick buck, like they portray me. As I've stated before: As long as I'm breaking even, I'll keep making them. Why? Because I enjoy it. I have zero creativity, and being able to Create something from nothing astounds me and brings me great joy. I can't draw, I can't write, I can't play music, I can't sing. To use my engineering skill in a bizarre way to end up with something beautiful brings me happiness.

P.S. Thank you for your kind words. I know it's not great. But it *is* my first attempt, I will only get better from here! ^_^
Mike, my first attempt at reborning wasn't even horror Halloween worthy. It got put in the trash as fast as I could get it there!!
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Re: Threatening me on Ebay is NOT cool

Post by MikeTheEngineer »

Suzanne wrote: Mike, my first attempt at reborning wasn't even horror Halloween worthy. It got put in the trash as fast as I could get it there!!
Ya... That's the vibe I'm getting "How DARE you, you little upstart... You didn't Pay Your Dues like the rest of us."
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Re: Threatening me on Ebay is NOT cool

Post by chelle77 »

MikeTheEngineer wrote:
Suzanne wrote: Mike, my first attempt at reborning wasn't even horror Halloween worthy. It got put in the trash as fast as I could get it there!!
Ya... That's the vibe I'm getting "How DARE you, you little upstart... You didn't Pay Your Dues like the rest of us."
I am still wondering what dues they speak of????
It's a learn as you go for most of us....Very few waltz in and churn out prototype worthy dolls from the start.... :?
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Re: Threatening me on Ebay is NOT cool

Post by Court_LLRN »

There are definitely people that speak tactfully here and there - and there are definitely some instances where people are downright vicious. But I honestly can only think of one or two people on DF who do this all the time - and thus people I really don't care for.
The same people who can be very blunt and forthcoming can also be super sweet and generous and kindhearted.
Unfortunately, the internet can bring out the absolute worst in people because voice is so hard to translate into text. You can easily say something that rubs someone a VERY wrong way when that was not your intention. And people can definitely rub you the wrong way and same thing.
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Re: Threatening me on Ebay is NOT cool

Post by tiffanybw »

MikeTheEngineer wrote:Thank you guys. There has been a great outpouring of support, and I keep hearing the same thing over and over: DF has a handful of vicious people that keep ruining for everyone! Why do you guys not band together, change the rules (or enforce them) to disallow disparaging, vicious comments about others and/or their dolls... and start banning them? This would make DF a better place. I had more than a few on DF suggest I should just throw it away. That just floored me... I thought you guys kept this place private to PREVENT stuff like that. Guess not.
What really got to me was this: "I'm a member of DF and other doll sites. I'll also have you know that your demeanor is rubbing the large majority of the doll community the absolute wrong way. I, for one, will never endorse your "creations" or speak anything but ill of them. You would do well to learn to take advice."

What this person wrote 1) implied they were speaking for an entire community of people; and 2) was directly threatening to you.

For me personally, I would never tell a person directly that their doll is awful, that I hated it, that they need to throw it in the trash, etc... That said, just speaking honestly when I say that I have made negative comments before about dolls. I did it just the other day as there still is or was this doll on eBay being sold for $2500 that was just terrible. I read the comments of the artist underneath and it said something about channeling Egyptian Goddess and wonderful piece of art and blah blah blah. My thoughts at the time were: "What is this person smoking? They actually think they will sell this doll for $2500?"

Just being honest, those were my thoughts. I didn't send her a message telling the person this. But I did come here and post in some thread about "this awful doll" and I think you yourself replied and said something like, "Yeah... and I once saw this doll that looked like mangled hamburger meat..."

My point is, even though I'm not personally the type of person who would go to Suzy and tell her... "Hey. Your doll sucks", still I will think it and then go and talk somewhere else about it. And that is just as hurtful if not more so than saying it direct to "Suzy's" face. People are people, we all do stuff like this, and if someone says they don't that person is a liar. And so comments such as... "If it were me I would throw the doll out"... Is that nice? Absolutely not. But is it personally threatening or directly degrading? No, I don't think it is. Even though I would never say it, I do just as bad by saying that to other people. And so in some ways I have respect for people who are blunt and will say exactly what it is they think. Everyone is different and people such as myself are going to end hurt (my feelings are hurt easily and sometimes I even perceive some wrong being done to me when there really is not nor is that the intention of the person's comments I am reading). And since I'm being all honest and everything... just that after I bought Babyclon Yala I found out after I made a commitment to buy her of the scandal behind all that. I was worried about people being nasty to me for buying her. And so no matter what, it's like I was looking for a reason to be hurt; i.e.: if I have her as my siggy pic and everyone ignores me that means they don't like me. Also, a few months back I had a giveaway contest. My perception was that not many people entered like entered the other giveaways I've seen here. I thought because I am new, and I read lots of negative comments from the veterans here about the "newbies", and so people don't enter because they don't like me.

All of it... perception. Maybe true, maybe not. We're all adults though, not in middle school, and so if on social media (and also why I don't think children should really be on social media, just not mature enough) we need to GET OVER IT.

Because of all of that, I really can't fault a person for stating their opinion outright instead of doing it behind a person's back (which is more what I do because I don't like hurting people's feelings and so if a person looks hideous in an outfit or whatever it is... I'll be the one agreeing with them and saying yeah, that looks great on you).

There is a line somewhere in there though. And IMO, that line was crossed when whoever the person is wrote the message to you that they did. Also, I went to read the thread here in the silicone for sale section and there was someone who wrote something about... "Are you for real? I am making fun of you and everyone is making fun of you." For me, that crosses a line. Because it is one thing not to like someone's doll, someone's artwork, someone's outfit, hairstyle or whatever. But it's a completely different thing to make fun of the person because of it. Or to threaten or elude like one is threatening another's personal safety because of it.

And so if someone says to me... "I hate your doll and it is ugly." Am I going to like that? No. Am I going to be hurt. Most definitely. Still, the person has a right to say what they want and so I'll go cry for 5 minutes and then I'll get over it.

When someone says to me... "I hate your doll and it is ugly. I will make you sorry you ever bought that doll. I am going to badmouth you to everyone I meet. I am going to make you sorry you ever bought that doll and you are going to regret the day you did. I'm going to make fun of you and you are going to learn the hard way."

THAT ^^^^ is WRONG. And a person who does that should be banned, and everyone should speak up and say something. I think people did see where the line was crossed. And they did speak up. (Except for whomever did it.)

Keep doing what you are! Unfortunately, there seriously are people in this world who would kill another person over a doll, or even for much less than that. Don't let them stop you. Instead trust in God to protect you. As for me, next time I'm going to think twice before I go and make fun of someone else's doll. Even if I don't know the person, it's still a person who made that doll. A person who has feelings that can be hurt. And so I plan on taking some of my own advice; and if I don't have anything nice to say, I'm going to try and not say anything at all.
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Re: Threatening me on Ebay is NOT cool

Post by MikeTheEngineer »

tiffanybw wrote: I think you yourself replied and said something like, "Yeah... and I once saw this doll that looked like mangled hamburger meat..."
I'm very careful never to bad mouth anyone to their face or behind their backs. The furthest I ever go is along the lines of "someone I know is terrible". I'm intentionally vague, and will never reference any specific person, unless being directly attacked. I did see a doll that I thought looked like mangled hamburger meat. I intentionally never said which doll, nor linked to it. And it was in the context of "why do people buy these". Personally, I think it's over the line if anyone can even *GUESS* which doll/person your talking about, when you are speaking negatively. I innately show respect for everyone, until they prove they have no respect for me.

If you spent a lot of time and effort into trying to make something pretty, how would you feel if people were talking badly about it behind your back to people that knew you?
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Re: Threatening me on Ebay is NOT cool

Post by tiffanybw »

MikeTheEngineer wrote:
tiffanybw wrote: I think you yourself replied and said something like, "Yeah... and I once saw this doll that looked like mangled hamburger meat..."
I'm very careful never to bad mouth anyone to their face or behind their backs. The furthest I ever go is along the lines of "someone I know is terrible". I'm intentionally vague, and will never reference any specific person, unless being directly attacked. I did see a doll that I thought looked like mangled hamburger meat. I intentionally never said which doll, nor linked to it. And it was in the context of "why do people buy these". Personally, I think it's over the line if anyone can even *GUESS* which doll/person your talking about, when you are speaking negatively. I innately show respect for everyone, until they prove they have no respect for me.

If you spent a lot of time and effort into trying to make something pretty, how would you feel if people were talking badly about it behind your back to people that knew you?
To answer your question: I would feel very hurt and sad if I spent time working hard on a thing, and then people talked badly about it either direct to me or behind my back. Difference is that currently (I'm 41), my reaction would be very different than it was 20 years ago. And 20 years from now, my reaction will probably be different than it would be if it were to happen to me today.

We live, we learn, we grow. At 20, I probably would have gone on a full scale "I will have my vengeance" attack and do just as bad or worse than what was done to me (or what I perceived the bad was that was done to me because sometimes what we perceive and then the genuine intention of the person who either spoke, wrote something in text, whatever else... just that it can be taken in many different ways).

When what is in parenthesis happens (and it does a lot, especially in internet land), what generally happens is the hurt party lashes out in self defense, then the person who thought they were being helpful... that person is hurt that they were just trying to help but then get attacked for it, then they in their own self defense become outright and without question just as vicious or worse than what was written to them, and it goes on never ending.

Only other thing, I think maybe (not sure :wink: ) that you were misunderstanding me when I pointed out what I said and then what you said about dolls we have seen (mangled hamburger meat). I wasn't trying to make you feel bad for what you said or put you on the defense (which is how *I think* you took it). My point was that people are people and we all of us have at some point or another in our lives said and done things that are wrong both in thought, in word, and in action.

Everyone reading this has hurt and has been hurt. This is part of life, and I don't wish to see this forum to turn into some politically correct prison where a person is afraid to speak anything at all for fear of offending another person. I think we've all had enough of that in real life (at least I have). I don't need any other person telling me what is is I *can* and *can't* think, say, or do. I'm accountable to One and One only... God. The real world lately makes me want to scream, with thought police running rampant, everything is hateful, offensive, or racist. :roll: People riot in the streets beating each other up, destroying everything in sight and then same "people" accuse "other people" of being evil, of being "haters", of being fascist, and whatever else. Hypocrites, the lot of them! :shock: I can't even say "I like purple" for fear of some infantile adult crying about it because they have been offended and hurt due to the fact that they hate purple. Oh the horror :cry: ! They then need crayons and paper so they can sort their hurt feelings, pet therapy, pats on the back of reassurance, and finally... their diapers changed, then fed and burped and tucked in bed for nighty night by the rest of society. :help: (This is what today's parents scream because we have generations of children who seemingly never grow up... not all of them are like this... but turn on the news and one will see mobs and mobs of 20-35 year old newborn infants.)

I don't want the real world to translate over into internet land. Internet land, doll collecting... things that I do so that I can forget about how asinine the real world is. People are different, think different, believe different, everything... different. It is inevitable that we will disagree. Any sentence at all... anything... there is always going to be someone out there who "takes offense" to it. We're all hopefully mature enough to pull up our big girl panties, big boy panties, whatever... and get over it. Unless it crosses a line (as the eBay message to you did). Things like that need to be addressed and I feel like they were.

I wish for you all the best with your sculpting, much success, and happiness. I'll be watching your work and if you were to perfect a way to have a replica made of baby pictures of my children believe me when I say I'll be the first in line to get one. :hug:
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My sweet nephew Jeremiah, 1 month old now!
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Re: Threatening me on Ebay is NOT cool

Post by MikeTheEngineer »

Lol, I agree. Too many people raise their children without discipline, and coddle them *WAY* too much every step of the way... Then you get an entire generation that is completely unable to function.
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Re: Threatening me on Ebay is NOT cool

Post by Julia89 »

tiffanybw wrote:Wow.

I haven't yet read anything but this post. But I'm really sorry. :hug: Threatening you like that is NOT ok, to whomever the vicjac person is, know that. That said, everyone makes mistakes, and whomever this is should come forward, own what they did, and apologize both to you and to the forum (in assuming they speak for all of DF).

But especially to apologize to you, because what they said IMO did come across as personally threatening.

Don't let this person/people get you down. I think that your first attempt was great! Is it the doll of my dreams... no. But have to start somewhere and it's your very first try. I think something to be proud of; way better than I could ever do. It takes hard work and perseverance to become good at *anything* one does. A person isn't just going to go and do something, and be perfect at it immediately. Keep on doing what you are, for as long as YOU want to. I'll be praying for you, and for your endeavors, as it makes me happy to see other's happy, to see other's succeed. I don't understand all that you have written about because quite simply, is over my head. What I do understand though, I think are great ideas and concepts. And so the only thing to do is to DO IT and see if it works. No matter what happens, you'd only be a failure in my eyes if you didn't try.

The message you received, just NOT right at all. Extremely hurtful and even worse than that... threatening. :cry: That person does not speak for me. Advice and constructive feedback is one thing and can be helpful. The way this person is talking though, as if they are the "Al Capone of the dolly mafia". Crazy!

Sorry but People DO speak bad about him and make fun :( and I think it is cowardly to speak in Back It is better to speak directly even it is hurt sometimes this is Honest in my Opinion.
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Re: Threatening me on Ebay is NOT cool

Post by tiffanybw »

Julia89 wrote:
tiffanybw wrote:Wow.

I haven't yet read anything but this post. But I'm really sorry. :hug: Threatening you like that is NOT ok, to whomever the vicjac person is, know that. That said, everyone makes mistakes, and whomever this is should come forward, own what they did, and apologize both to you and to the forum (in assuming they speak for all of DF).

But especially to apologize to you, because what they said IMO did come across as personally threatening.

Don't let this person/people get you down. I think that your first attempt was great! Is it the doll of my dreams... no. But have to start somewhere and it's your very first try. I think something to be proud of; way better than I could ever do. It takes hard work and perseverance to become good at *anything* one does. A person isn't just going to go and do something, and be perfect at it immediately. Keep on doing what you are, for as long as YOU want to. I'll be praying for you, and for your endeavors, as it makes me happy to see other's happy, to see other's succeed. I don't understand all that you have written about because quite simply, is over my head. What I do understand though, I think are great ideas and concepts. And so the only thing to do is to DO IT and see if it works. No matter what happens, you'd only be a failure in my eyes if you didn't try.

The message you received, just NOT right at all. Extremely hurtful and even worse than that... threatening. :cry: That person does not speak for me. Advice and constructive feedback is one thing and can be helpful. The way this person is talking though, as if they are the "Al Capone of the dolly mafia". Crazy!

Sorry but People DO speak bad about him and make fun :( and I think it is cowardly to speak in Back It is better to speak directly even it is hurt sometimes this is Honest in my Opinion.
We can agree to disagree and still love and respect each other. :heart: :heart: :heart:

Hope that you have a great day and sending lots of :hug: :hug: :hug: your way!
10513

My sweet nephew Jeremiah, 1 month old now!
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