NEGATIVE COMMENTS

#1 Rule - Play Nice PLEASE!!
#2 Rule - This is not a forum for sales or wanted....please keep it to just general doll discussion.
MikeTheEngineer
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Re: NEGATIVE COMMENTS

Post by MikeTheEngineer »

Brooke wrote:Mike stop it. It isn't all about you. I wasn't even thinking about you when I started this topic.
I wasn't talking to, or about you. I was talking to/about the person that was directly referring to me.
MikeTheEngineer
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Re: NEGATIVE COMMENTS

Post by MikeTheEngineer »

chelle77 wrote:I would never tell someone that what they created was awful.
Why would anyone even think that was an ok thing to do??
Unless a person specifically asks for constructive criticism I wouldn't offer any~ nor would I feel compelled to
Exactly. Some people just have very strong urges to harm others, and feel no need to control themselves. Maybe it makes them feel good about themselves by belittling other people? And others are just dense, and can't tell the difference between "tact" and "just being honest". If you actually have to say "I'm just being honest"... it's more likely "You're just being a prick." There is definitely a thing called "too much honesty" as well. Something that took me *years* to learn. I'm compulsively honest... so I always warn people that ask my opinion... don't ask me unless you want an honest answer.
I *never* say things like "That's aweful" or "that thing you spent HOURS making is just trash". I try to say pick out things to change that would improve what they are doing and say things like "you could try doing X or Y, that might help you get better results." Can you see the difference?
Constructive: give them a method of improvement, without stating what they did was wrong/bad.
Not constructive: Telling them it is bad/wrong, without stating how to improve it.
MikeTheEngineer
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Re: NEGATIVE COMMENTS

Post by MikeTheEngineer »

TinaDolly wrote:I cannot stand seeing "THIS" and "THAT" in "QUOTES" or ***STARS*** all the time like we are children and cannot decipher wording properly.
The overwhelming vast majority of people are very poor at reading emphasis in a plainly written sentence.


Could you read that and know that I was emphasizing **OVERWHELMING** and *VERY*? Why not? Because it's impossible to know what the writer is emphasizing without some type of clue.

If you do not like what I write, please, feel free to neither read it, nor respond to it. It won't hurt my feelings a bit. :toast:
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Ginas_reborns
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Re: NEGATIVE COMMENTS

Post by Ginas_reborns »

Brooke wrote: Am I a terrible person :?



Probably
chelle77
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Re: NEGATIVE COMMENTS

Post by chelle77 »

Ginas_reborns wrote:
Brooke wrote: Am I a terrible person :?



Probably
Oh my goodness~ :lol: :lol: :lol:
So glad I wasn't drinking anything because it would have shot out my nose!! :rofl:
Brooke
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Re: NEGATIVE COMMENTS

Post by Brooke »

Does this mean I am?
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Dion
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Re: NEGATIVE COMMENTS

Post by Dion »

I would never tell someone that what they made was ugly!! If you want to share how to improve a reborn when someone asks, there is no need to say anything negative. Just share what could be done to improve it. If someone doesn't ask for your opinion or ideas, I don't think that it's necessary to say anything. You only end up hurting someone's feelings.

There are even famous artists that, in my opinion, make very homely dolls. I would never tell them that. It's not my place, and obviously someone loves them and buys them! That's okay. We can be happy for a person's joy even if we aren't fond of the doll. We all have such different tastes when it comes to what is cute or beautiful. No need to point out that you think that it's ugly and/or poorly made at any time. That could be so rude and hurtful. I think that it's better to keep negative comments to yourself, and if you are going to say something, remember that kindness goes a long way.


:foryou: Hugs, Dion
chelle77
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Re: NEGATIVE COMMENTS

Post by chelle77 »

Brooke wrote:Does this mean I am?
Not at all. The comment just struck me as quite funny :D
There are some pretty terrible people in the world. Pretty sure u don't qualify as one of them. :foryou:
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jubileejulie
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Re: NEGATIVE COMMENTS

Post by jubileejulie »

Brooke, just wondering how you would feel if someone were to offer unsolicited constructive criticism on the Lizzy in your bunny and kitty post.
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Suzanne
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Re: NEGATIVE COMMENTS

Post by Suzanne »

unless someone is asking for constructive criticism about their work I wouldn't give it. I did once, as I just couldn't take it (seriously, who puts adult eyelashes on a baby? ) I did it in a private message however I got no response so I have learned my lesson once again..
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Barbydoll
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Re: NEGATIVE COMMENTS

Post by Barbydoll »

I always refer back to my childhood & the often quoted comment made to be by my Mom that was said by "Thumper" in the movie, "Bambi".

"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!!!"

That's my motto, too. Words spoken in haste can be so hurtful & can never be taken back!
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"Our 50th Wedding Anniversary Celebration"
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Sandis Doll House
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Re: NEGATIVE COMMENTS

Post by Sandis Doll House »

I would NEVER tell anyone that their work was terrible no matter how badly I wanted to, but I sure have thought it out loud a few times to myself. If they ask for my opinion I might. I've never seen it NOT start drama no matter how much it's avoided, especially on doll fan.
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gagegood
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Re: NEGATIVE COMMENTS

Post by gagegood »

I want to get off this topic, Brooke. I am expecting you to be bringing your little kitty baby home any minute now. Please bring us up to date, & post a million photos of her! Cheers from Gage.
LollipopCradle_Paula
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Re: NEGATIVE COMMENTS

Post by LollipopCradle_Paula »

If the artist does not ask for critique, I would not give it. Many times new artist show off their work in hopes of receiving encouragement from more seasoned artists. We also have to keep in mind that people have different taste. I never criticize work that sells for more than my own even if it is not a style I like. I also will not say a work is beautiful if I don't think it is but I do look for something good in every one.
I don't very often post my babies for sale or showcase here because I am sensitive. I know I do good work but one discouraging inconsiderate comment would make me doubt myself. Let's all try to lift one another up!
Suebee
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Re: NEGATIVE COMMENTS

Post by Suebee »

Gina, I want/need your signature baby, please, and thank you Can you tell I am stressing need, without saying NEEEEED? :D Wowza.

One thing about reborns (not yours, Gina) ~ I want to scream when I see ads with wet hair ... and say to the seller "we know without the water, the hair stands up on end, and is fuzz". But I don't ;) .

I sure miss everyone ~ I haven't been around here for months!!!! Please remember, I was the original Suebee on DollFan!! :D LOL LOL LOL (I hope the other Suebee is still around, and doing well, though!!! She sure has a lot more talent than I do!!)

Hugs all ~ <3
Brooke
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Re: NEGATIVE COMMENTS

Post by Brooke »

As to the question of would I personally want to know if I posted a baby with obvious problems that need to be mentioned, the answer is YES, but that's just me. I'd rather know if a doll had glaring "uglies" or poorly done issues than feel it is beautiful and then try to sell it or show it off to people, only to have them laughing and snickering behind my back - "How could she even think of selling that doll with those lips, creases, ad nauseum . . ."
But comments do need to be made in a kind and thoughtful way, perhaps even by PM, and I don't think they should be judgmental, but helpful. I once posted a PM to an artist who had listed a pretty doll for sale, but for some reason she had put the eyelashes in the eye crease rather than on the edge of the lid. I complimented the baby, and then pointed out the boo-boo. I suggested she look in the mirror at her own lashes to see exactly where they should be placed. She was really pleased I'd pointed it out to her so she could fix it and go on to sell the doll.

Gage, I did post a couple of pictures of my new kitty Lily, but here is the problem:
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:kittyroll:The dang kitten won't hold still!! It is either drop-dead sleep or total play. She is adorable, and we are so in love with her. As I collect more pictures, which I am sure I'll be able to do if I time it right, I'll be sure to post them. Thank you for asking :D .
gagegood
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Re: NEGATIVE COMMENTS

Post by gagegood »

Your baby is SO adorable, Brooke! Does she remind of your little kitty who's in heaven with your mom? She looks like so much fun. I'm glad you have her.
chelle77
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Re: NEGATIVE COMMENTS

Post by chelle77 »

I have seen the other pics of your kitty and she is precious!! :heart: :heart: :heart:
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Re: NEGATIVE COMMENTS

Post by dollval »

I have been a member since 2003 and this is something I have so often thought about. This board used to be about all different kinds of dolls- ooaks, child dolls, vinyl dolls before reborns even existed so I am not thinking in terms of reborn artists or dolls that someone made but just dolls here in general. There is a very clear unspoken rule that only positive comments are allowed. No doll is perfect had we found the perfect one we might not still be buying. (I know we would still be buying lol). But with my doll friends we are always sending each other links- isn't this awful? If only I could afford this! What do you think- should I bid? To which I answer put on your glasses! Or the face is cute but the rooting is awful, eyes aren't good, etc. With the older dolls I'll say- awful, you're only interested cuz it's a bargain, or nice but do you really need it? Or I'll say- get it! Great doll, I love it! No one is condoning making hurtful comments. But it would be nice if this was a forum where honest opinions could be expressed in a way that is not hurtful but in a way that shows that everyone has their own opinion. Sometimes I want to say I love everything about her except her..... whatever it is. But I know I can't. It is false to only say positive things.
Jen
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Re: NEGATIVE COMMENTS

Post by Jen »

dollval wrote:I have been a member since 2003 and this is something I have so often thought about. This board used to be about all different kinds of dolls- ooaks, child dolls, vinyl dolls before reborns even existed so I am not thinking in terms of reborn artists or dolls that someone made but just dolls here in general. There is a very clear unspoken rule that only positive comments are allowed. No doll is perfect had we found the perfect one we might not still be buying. (I know we would still be buying lol). But with my doll friends we are always sending each other links- isn't this awful? If only I could afford this! What do you think- should I bid? To which I answer put on your glasses! Or the face is cute but the rooting is awful, eyes aren't good, etc. With the older dolls I'll say- awful, you're only interested cuz it's a bargain, or nice but do you really need it? Or I'll say- get it! Great doll, I love it! No one is condoning making hurtful comments. But it would be nice if this was a forum where honest opinions could be expressed in a way that is not hurtful but in a way that shows that everyone has their own opinion. Sometimes I want to say I love everything about her except her..... whatever it is. But I know I can't. It is false to only say positive things.
I agree with this.
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